Focusing on the Present.

Something that is currently frustrating me is relationships. Okay, let's be real here; relationships always frustrate me. Now, you're probably wondering why that is.
There are two reasons:

1. I've spent 94% of my life being single.
2. I strongly dislike the awkward period of time when it's like, 'do we like each other????'

If it were up to me, I'd prefer to just know what's going on. I'd walk straight up to the guy, look him in the eyes, and say, "hey there. I really like you. Do you like me too?" and then hope that he says yes. (sidenote: it would never actually be that easy.)

But, I'm constantly being reminded that that is not God's plan.

In a previous post, I've mentioned that I go to a weekly Bible study with the College & Career group from my church. At Bible study last night, we were talking about something... I can't quite remember what it was (why can I never remember?!), but someone said something that stuck out to me.

"You can't worry about the future, you have to focus on what's in front of you."

I couldn't get that out of my head for the rest of the night.

Once I got back to school, I decided that I needed to talk to a friend about what was going on in my head; all the thoughts about relationships, the frustrations that come with that, and about what was said at Bible study. I went to her apartment and she was finishing an episode of Grey's Anatomy, which I was fine with. I was content to just lay on her couch and wait for her to be done with that. 'Okay Elizabeth... I don't really care about Grey's Anatomy. Why are you telling this story?' might be what you're thinking right now. Juuust wait for it.

Near the very end of the episode, one of the characters said to another:

"You can't be worrying about the future! You have to focus on what's right in front of you."

What?! I was just as shocked as you are now. 'Did the Lord just speak to me through a TV show?', is what I was thinking. In the past, I've found that God speaks to me through the repetition of a specific phrase, so I figured that this was no different.

Today, I was telling a different friend about those two instances and that although I'm excited that God spoke to me, I am now struggling with not knowing which circumstance in my life I am supposed to apply that message to. As I was talking it out, I'm pretty sure I answered my own question.

I decided, maybe God is using this message for the whole of my life. With midterms just past, I've been worried about my marks, and how the grades that I get my classes will affect my future career. With relationship frustrations in my mind, I've been worried about where I stand with a certain person. My mindset has been very future-oriented.

Also, out of the blue today, my dad sent me a quote (based on Proverbs 3:6) that seems to be relevant to what God is wanting from me right now. It said, "In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success."

God wants me to focus on what's right in front of me, focus on the present. And my present (as well as both my past, and my future) is Him and Him alone. I think He's been giving me this message because I need to stop worrying about my midterms (the past), relationships (the future), and simply dwell in His presence. I need to run wholeheartedly towards Him; He is the only One who can give me the comfort, answers, love, and grace that I so deeply desire.

Now let's bring this post full circle. As for relationships, I am currently finding great comfort and hope in the fact that that's in the future, for we know that the future is inevitable. One day when I'm worrying about the future, I'll bring myself back to reality to focus on the present, only to realize that God has placed someone there for me to look towards the future with.

And it will be beautiful.