Weddings + Loneliness.

When I was a teenager (it's funny that I can say that... #adultlife) and I would go to weddings, I would experience a certain amount of loneliness. I would always boil it down to the fact that I was a hormonal, single, young person, and while it was exciting to see my friends get married, it was also kinda sucky because I was a hormonal, single, young person.

I'm still a hormonal young person, but I'm no longer single. *cue loud, long GASP from the audience*

(EDIT: @ everyone reading this in 2019, I've received some confused messages and DMs regarding the "I'm in a relationship" thing. I'm not in a relationship anymore, but I was at the time and this blog post is still important + relevant to young adult life.)

View from a boathouse I found while exploring during a weekend wedding getaway

I'm also in that young adult stage where a LOT of my friends are getting married. As in, I have seven weddings to go to this summer.

I've already gone to two of the seven weddings, and I've learned something that I think is pretty cool.

I'm still lonely. And it doesn't have to do with the fact that my boyfriend wasn't with me when I attended these weddings. How do I know that?

Because it was the very same out of place and lonely feeling that I experienced when I was single. So I took some time to sit with the feeling and think on it, and I came to a few conclusions. I found that in the large crowd of people, I felt unimportant, unnecessary, overlooked, and kind of like I'd slipped through the cracks. And even though I was spending time with friends at these weddings, and knew that I wasn't unimportant and unnecessary, I still felt it. And I realized in hindsight that that's okay.

Because as a human, loneliness is something that I'll always experience - whether I'm single or not. And to be honest, I kinda think that really sucks. Like, my ten year old self who thought that I wouldn't be lonely once I had a boyfriend is feeling extremely let down!

I came across a quote once that says:

"Loneliness is simply what happens when we grow up and realize we have a universe inside of us to which no other person has access, and that every other person contains an unknowable universe as well."

I feel justified in my thought as a ten year old now, knowing that at that point I hadn't yet "grown up and realized" what that quote was talking about.

As much as I began to learn as I got older that loneliness is a real thing that I'd have to face, it's been interesting, at the past two weddings I've attended, to really experience that in a practical way as a non-single person.

It reminded me of the vitally important lesson that my boyfriend/husband can/will never fully be able to meet my needs.

I will still be lonely. As a girlfriend. As a wife. As a mother. As a grandmother.

And that is not any fault of my (or your) boyfriend (or girlfriend or wife or husband). Being lonely is simply what happens as a result of being human.

All of this being said, your significant other will also experience loneliness because, SURPRISE, they're human too! And it's definitely important for both of you to be there for each other and support and comfort one another in your loneliness.

But it isn't your significant other's job to get rid or your loneliness, and it must be remembered that your significant other did not cause your loneliness. It is simply something that happens to both of you as a result of being human.

This is why it's so necessary and helpful for me to rely on God and trust Him - making the conscious choice to walk with Him each and every day, trusting Him to guide me, comfort me, love me, lead me, and bear my burdens.

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Saviour, who daily bears our burdens." {Psalm 68:19}