It's finals week and I'm exhausted. I'm an I-get-eight-hours-of-sleep-every-single-night typa girl, but for the past week that just hasn't been cutting it. I wake up every morning feeling like I haven't slept a wink. I definitely plan on taking my fuzzy plaid blanket (from Scotland!) with me everywhere this week, I'm wearing heels today but wearing fuzzy socks inside of them bc comfort amirightladies, and I'm writing this blog post instead of studying for a quiz this afternoon or the final I have on Wednesday morning.
I'm SO looking forward to going home on Saturday. I won't have homework for three weeks (lol wut!!!?!), I'll get to spend time with my family, I plan to start a new show on Netflix, and I'm gonna get a whooole lot of sleep.
But for real, Jesus is so good. And I've had to remind myself of that every day, every hour, sometimes every minute. Because when I'm exhausted and everything seems so heavy, I can have the tendency to dwell on how real the struggle is and I end up forgetting that Jesus is also real.
And He's really humbled me over the past week especially.
When I'm exhausted and feel like I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I was last at home in August (jk I've been home since then - I'm just dramatic), I can struggle a lot with feeling inadequate, unloved, under-prioritized by people I love, and just straight up lonely - even though I'm surrounded by a campus of friends and people whom I love. And it sounds ridiculous when I type it out, because I'm definitely not all alone over here!
But God has used these feelings to draw me back to Himself, and isn't that what it's all about?
"He must increase, I must decrease." {John 3:30}When I feel lonely, under-prioritized, and exhausted, I want to surround myself even more with friends and people whom I care about, because I think that their presence will fulfill me and satisfy my need to feel like I matter. And I'm discontent and confused when I still feel lonely the next day.
That's because I need Jesus.
People are great, don't get me wrong! But no one can satisfy my soul like Jesus.
And I kinda feel like I should know that by now, so I was extremely humbled the other night when I took some quality time to open my Bible and talk to the Lord, and through that time I was reminded how much more I need to prioritize Him in order to stop feeling like I'm being under-prioritized by people in this world. Because how much does attention from other people mean when I'm known, loved, and cared for by the Creator of the whole universe???
Even in my moments of forgetfulness and thoughts of 'ugh I should so know that Jesus is more satisfying and fulfilling than anything else...', I was so humbled and encouraged by Isaiah 30:18:
"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you."To me? Even when I forget Him?
Yes.
"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even though these may forget, yet I will not forget you."Even though I may forget God in my times of great exhaustion, stress, studying, and attempting to fulfill my loneliness with friends, He never ever ever forgets me. And doesn't that mean so much more to me than anything else? People may forget me, I may not get an A+ on my final, but the Lord will never forget me.
And I dunno about you, but that is what's getting me through this finals week.
Post a Comment