If you're friends with me in real life (or on Facebook, I suppose), you're likely aware of the Home-going of my beautiful friend Tatiana Blackburn two Fridays ago. I've wanted to write about that; I've wanted to not write about that.
I've wanted to write about the fact that anything else that's happened this summer seems like a distant memory, and hardly even seems to matter anymore. Like, remember when I got my wisdom teeth out in May?!
In the midst of the whirlwind that has been these past two weeks, I've been clinging tighter and tighter to the Hope of eternal life that I have in Jesus. I know that's what Tat would remind us all of.
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| Source: stoater; unsplash.com |
Going to a new province where I literally don't know anyone seems so overwhelming and daunting right now. But I keep remembering when Tat found out that I was going to Montreal. I had tweeted something (ha, classic) about not being able to just go to the H (aka Heritage Community Centre aka the lounge/cafe area) in September to see Tat and Beth. Tat responded saying that she'd just drive to my house, and I said "...How about Montreal?" She was surprised, but also excited for me that I'd be going on mission. That is very Tat. Always having a heart for missions and sharing the Gospel.
At her Celebration of Life this week, I was affirmed in my calling to go to Montreal. Every single person who went up to the podium and shared about Tat's life talked about Jesus and how Tat would want everyone to come to know and love her Jesus. And after her Home-going, and the Home-going of another friend of mine in 2015, I've felt an urgency to share Jesus with people. I want people to have the same Hope of eternal life that I have - that Tat had.
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| Pre-veggie burger dinner date with Tat + Beth; January 2018. |
I've been listening to Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells a LOT over the past few weeks, and in my devotions this morning, I also read about hills and valleys. I've been reading Cambria Joy's "Look Inside: 30 Days to Ending Your War with the Mirror", and the chapter I read today was entitled "Growing in all Things". She wrote about hills and valleys saying,
"I love mountaintop experiences - it's refreshing up there. But the fruit of our labour is not produced on the mountaintop. Fruit is grown in the depths of the valley. ...Even in the lowest parts of life, God will grow you for your own good. Don't give up. Press on and press in because you will reap a harvest if you do not give up (Galatians 6:9)."So as much as my heart hurts, my brain is overwhelmed, and I'm exhausted and sad, I'm not about to give up. I'll go to Montreal; I'll meet new people; I'll share Tat's Jesus (and mine) with those I encounter each day; I'll keep in touch with my family and friends back at home - thank goodness for technology, amiright???
Amidst the hills and valleys of life, I want to continue trusting God. I was writing in my journal back on August 2nd about the fact that I was annoyed with myself because I'd recently been frustrated over stupid things that don't really matter. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to be "more sunshine-y", as I put it. I followed that statement with this one:
"I want to trust God so much that I can see sunshine and find joy in the darkest of times."I had no idea how badly I'd need those words only three weeks later.
So here I am, preparing to leave my home province in just over a week, trusting God, searching for sunshine, and longing to honour my friend Tat every day - loving people fiercely and loving God even more so.
"So let us not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." {Galatians 6:9; NLT}
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