January 2019.

It's been a hot minute since I've posted on here. I've thought about it multiple times and been inspired by different things. But at the same time, I've struggled with the very topic I wrote about in my last post - perfection.

January is almost over now, and it's been likely the most uncertain, strange, and unpredictable month I've experienced in my life so far. I say that because I'm so used to being in school, then I got used to being in Montréal, aaand now I'm home.

And I've struggled with perfection in terms of blogging, because when I'm feeling strange, unsettled, and uncertain, I don't always want to write because I'm not sure how happy I'll be with the end result.

But I'm back now.

Source: freestocks.org; unsplash.com

Better than ever? Maybe not. But back nonetheless.

January started out fairly rocky; I got sick on the 4th and lost my voice for about two and a half weeks. I've had to lead music at some church or another for three out of the four Sundays in January, so having laryngitis wasn't ideal, but I rolled with it more or less.

It took me almost a month after coming home from Montréal to finally feel settled, comfortable, and familiar with life in Ontario again. It took one of my friends expressing concern that I was isolating myself and could possibly be depressed before I realized that I actually was hiding out at home a little bit. I wanted to avoid seeing people who hadn't seen me since before I left at the beginning of September because I knew that all they'd want to talk about is Montréal. Inherently, that's not a problem at all! But it gets frustrating when I try to turn the tables and ask what's been going on in their life while I was away, and I get responses like: 

"Oh you know, the usual."

"Meh, same old same old."

"Well, my life is boring. I didn't go to Montréal!"

Insert eyeroll here. I was gone for FOUR MONTHS. I have no idea what went on, so I need to hear about "the usual", the "same old same old", and people's supposedly boring lives!

All I wanted was normal life, and I wasn't about to get it. So I had to come to terms with that and decide to oblige people and tell them about Montréal, even if I end up repeating myself multiple times.

I've also been playing the waiting game in terms of getting a job. I still don't officially have one, so I'm not about to tell you the details. So you'll have to wait with bated breath because, after all, I'm doing the same.

So, while I sit around in that proverbial waiting room, I've been biding my time watching Marie Kondo on Netflix, as well as You, and re-watching some later seasons of Grey's Anatomy because I have a potentially unhealthy love for that show. I've been putting some of those Marie Kondo organizing tips to good use in my room; I've vowed to actually live my life as a true lactose intolerant person and succeeding (for the most part); I bought a new bed; I've hung out with friends and talked about Montréal 🤪; I've gone to job interviews... y'know, the usual... same old same old. My life is boring, right?

HA. Just kidding.

2019 is cool and weird and surprising and new and unsettling and different, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.

But God is always the same, and maaan, am I ever grateful for that. Always always always.