All Sunshine + Daisies.

Remember when I blogged about not officially having a job yet, so I didn't want to say too much or speak too soon? Well, I have a job now, so I'm here to say too much. Or just enough. Who can say, really?

As of January 31st, I became the worship leader of a new church plant in my area. I've felt called to be a worship leader since halfway through the first year of my Bachelor's degree. Or I guess, at that time, I was only in a one year worship leader certificate, and then I switched into the degree because I felt called to be a worship leader.

But I've gotta say somethin.

source: Kristine Tanne; unsplash.com

It's not as glamorous or soul-fulfilling as I thought it would be.

I've hesitated a little bit to put up this post, because I don't want people thinking that I just got this new job and I'm bashing it or being discontent already. Because I do love it! Plus pretty much everything I'm saying in this post I've already discussed with the pastor I work with, so it's not like this is some huge confessional and everyone's gonna be SHOOK.

I was at the pastor's house the other week and his wife made a comment that stuck with me. We were talking about relationships and boys (🤪) so it wasn't even related to my job, but it can be. She said,

"You have to find something good in every situation, otherwise you'll never be content."

It's not that I'm discontent with my job per se. It's just that since this position is where I feel God has called me to serve, I thought it would be so fulfilling and happy-clappy and easy all the time. But I just came across a tweet that hit me where it hurts:

"'Find a job you love and never work a day in your life' is possibly the worst platitude. Work is tough whether you love it or not. DO NOT QUIT your paying job to pursue your passion if you think it's going to be no work and all sunshine and daisies."

Reading that was like breathing in a breath of fresh air, because I've been spending the past couple weeks of this job being a little bit confused. Because I kinda thought that fireworks would go off around me after I was told that I'd gotten the job. I thought I would be able to handle every mini-conflict with ease. I thought I'd feel fulfilled and happy-clappy all the time. I thought I'd be wandering through fields of sunshine and daisies every Sunday morning.

But it suddenly just feels like work. Which makes sense because it is my job, after all. Adulthood is just weird though... which could honestly be a whole other blog post on its own because I'm strugglin. I'm so used to being in school, or being a worship leader's intern. But now I'm the worship leader. Weird. And while I have work to do, I don't have homework or classes or assignments or papers that demand my attention every day. Weirddd.

All of that being said, I do go to sleep each night knowing that I enjoy what I'm doing, I'm musically gifted (which is important for my job), and it really is my passion.

Like my Twitter bio says, "serving God + singing sweet harmony is my life's work."

And I wouldn't change it for the world.