That's how I've felt for the past month.
On May 21st, I started a full-time job in addition to my part-time worship leading position. Granted, this full-time job is only going to last about ten weeks... (I know I've told some people eight, but with the time I've had to take off for my church job, and the mission trip I'm going on in a couple weeks, some time has gotten added on.)
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| Rattlesnake Point, Milton. |
This past week I've really been feeling the "this is the first day since starting my full-time job that I've had absolutely no plans." Actually that's a lie. Kinda. I do have one plan for today - getting fast food for lunch with my mom, aunt, and grandpa. Gon be lit. 🍔🔥
Anywho, I was pretty grouchy all week... Just ask the pastor I work with and his wife. They gave me a cookie at 7:15am on Thursday to temporarily make me feel better, because I was being a grumpy guy. And the pastor's wife told me not to talk on the car ride to the church office and just listen to worship music. 🤪 Like I said, Grumpy. Guy. Not one of my finer moments, but we're keepin it real.
And I actually was supposed to have plans today - bigger plans than fast food, that is. My church was going to be part of a softball tournament and I'd agreed to help babysit kids while their parents played softball. For nine hours. On Thursday the tournament got cancelled because not enough teams had signed up to play. Honestly, I was relieved. I love the folks from my church, and I love their lil kiddos, but I've been going going going since May 21st. Monday to Friday I work my full-time job, and then Saturday and Sunday are dedicated to my worship leading job.
The point of this post is not that I'm trying to complain about being busy and grumpy, nor am I attempting to publicly pat myself on the back for all the work I'm doing. I'd prefer to have time to rest! Rest is so important. It keeps me from being a grumpy guy and lashing out at people I love because I haven't had enough sleep and/or coffee and/or time to relax and recharge.
I was relieved when the softball tournament got cancelled because I'd honestly forgotten that I'd committed to babysit all day, until I got a text earlier this week asking if I was still available to do that. Just when I'd been getting so excited about my free Saturday because I'd forgotten to put the tourney in my calendar... Whoops. But when the event got cancelled, I really felt like God was telling me to rest and slow down for a day.
He is in the details y'all. He sees us, and He knows our life situations. And while life doesn't stop, we have to find time to stop. Rest is so crucial.
Even in the times when I'm being a grumpy guy, I've been reminded so much recently of how important it is to abide in the constant nature of God. He is so faithful and dependable when we feel so exhausted and spread thin. Joy comes from the Lord, no matter our circumstances. And I'll admit that I haven't felt very joyful - if at all - this past week. And that's okay! There will be seasons like that, but it's important within those seasons to remember God's truths, and keep our eyes fixed on His love, peace, presence, and His fullness when we feel like we're lacking so much.
He is steady, constant, and ready to sustain us always.
"I have become clear about at least one thing: self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch." -Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader
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