Looking into 2018

The other night, on January 1st, I was outside shoveling, and as much as I hate having to shovel outside in the bitter cold, there's something about shoveling at night. It was dark out, it was quiet, it was also snowing lightly. It was peaceful.

And the peace and quiet of it all got me thinking about the new year. I love starting a new year! I'm not really all about the hype of New Year's Eve parties or anything, but I love that a new year is a new start. I guess you could argue that every day is a new start, which is true... But a new year just feels new-er, ya feel?

As I was shoveling, although I enjoyed the peace of the night, I was also kind of grumbling to myself about having to shovel. That in itself got me thinking about the new year, and the fact that I want to be more joyful. I don't mean happy. I will never be happy about shoveling. But I can be joyful about it! Joyful because I have a chance to quietly spend time with God while doing a task that doesn't take much mental effort, if any.

Then yesterday - January 2nd - I woke up and started thinking about things that I hold dear, choose to focus my time on, or consider really important, and decided that in 2018 I want to take time to evaluate these things that I deem so important and ask myself "why?". 

At the beginning of October, I watched a Francis Chan video and something that he said has stuck with me ever since.

"Nothing matters in life but what you do for Christ."

And yikes. It's true. Both that quote, and some unimportant (and probably stupid) things that I hold dear brought to mind the passage in the Bible that says:

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21) 

If nothing matters in life but what I do for Christ, but I'm laying up for myself treasures on earth, what does that really say about where my heart is?

In 2018 I want to draw closer to Christ. I have to.

I'm graduating in four short months. And that terrifies me, because come September, I won't be going back to school. School has been my "security", if you will, ever since I was four years old! As soon as the clock struck midnight on January 1st and it became 2018, I started going on and on to my best friend about how scared I am because in 2018, everything beyond graduation looks like a big, endless, black abyss.

I don't know what the future holds.

But have I ever really known? I suppose not. I guess I think I know what life looks like, but I'm always thrown for a loop because it never quite happens the way I think it will.

At the end of 2017 one of my professors told me to live my life as though it's Christmas Eve, not Boxing Day. I'm young; I'm twenty-one! I have so much to look forward to. That's what he told me, and I know it's true. Even when life looks like an endless abyss.

So it looks like 2018 is Christmas Eve. And although I feel like I'm going in blind, what an awesome opportunity these 365 days (minus three) are for me to trust God completely, because I have absolutely no idea what the future looks like beyond April 28th aka graduation.

Seeking joy. Asking "why?". Living for Christ. Laying up treasures in heaven. Trust. Trust. Trust.

Let's go 2018. I'm not ready, but God sure is.