The Good Wounds.

Last night, through a conversation with one of my pastors, I realized how important it is to be surrounded by people who will wound you.

I first heard that terminology used in the title of a Desiring God article and that immediately intrigued me to read the article.

'Who would willingly want someone to wound them?' I remember asking myself. But through the nature of the conversation that I had with my pastor, I realized the answer.

Source: Aaron Burden, Unsplash.com

I do. And you should too.

I'm not talking about finding a friend to literally stab you in the back or anything. That would suck. I'm talking about people who choose to say something that will likely offend or upset you in the moment, but in the long run they know you'll thank them. Because ultimately they care about your eternal soul above your momentary feelings.

I remember my pastor said something the other night that was so true and so important, and I was so struck by it (in a good way) that my end of the phone was quiet for awhile. My pastor must have thought he'd offended me because he apologized if what he had said wasn't what I'd wanted to hear. But really I was simply convicted by what he'd said, and thankful that he cares more about my relationship with God than anything else.

In the Desiring God article that I alluded to before, the author talked about our friends wounding us for our good. I'm not sure I'd ever think of wounds as "good" in any realm outside of Christianity. The author, Greg Morse, says this:

"The world cares nothing for our eternal good. Ungodly friends cheer us on toward destruction. They bequeath the kiss of flattery — the Dementor’s kiss. They coddle our egos, telling us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear. Even the most genuine and moral among them sets sail away from God. Thus we need a crew of Christian companions — a body — to keep us from shipwreck. Finishing the race is not an individual endeavor, and eternity is at stake. Praise God then for the faithful wounds of true friends who protect us from ultimate injury. They tell us plainly, “You’re flirting with destruction!” Or, “Spiritual sloth is unacceptable!” Friends who ask us hard questions, who are for our eternal soul above our momentary feelings — these are true friends." (Emphasis added.)

That paragraph spoke to me so much, and the part that mentions eternity being what's at stake is exactly what my pastor had to say when I texted him about ten minutes after we'd hung up the phone, sincerely thanking him for caring about my heart, spiritual well-being, and growth in Christ. He reminded me that things of this earth are vanity of vanities, and as Christians we have a higher calling to focus on the eternal, not the temporal. 

You may be in the same boat that I used to be in, wondering how wounds can be good, and who would willingly wish for someone to wound them.

But I truly challenge you to recognize that you don't know it all. There are people out there who are further along in their relationship with God, who know more than you do - not necessarily about you, but about spiritual and heart health, about eternal truths. It really is helpful to seek wise counsel and choose wisely who it is that you want to have pouring into your life. It's so crucial to have someone pouring into your life who wants to see you succeed, see you grow closer to God, and be shaped more into the image of Christ Jesus, His son.

Choose someone who will wound you. Someone who will wound you for your good. Because honestly? My friends who have wounded me, who care deeply about my heart, my growth in Christ, my spiritual maturity. Those are the friends for whom I thank God the most.